What Is Marriage About?

Jesus on Marriage in Matthew 19:3-12

One day the Pharisees were badgering him: "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?"  He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female?  And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh - no longer two bodies but one.  Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart."

They shot back in rebuttal, "If that's so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?"   Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hard   heartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan. I'm you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an        exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery."  

Jesus' disciples objected, "If those are the terms of marriage, we're stuck. Why get married?"   But Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone.

Paul on Marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:4

Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.”  Marriage is a decision to serve the other.

Dating through God’s Eyes ...not what our culture tells us

Helpful Source that will help all parents PREPARE a child to date: Passport to Purity by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

1.) The purpose of dating is to discover the person God wants you to marry.  It is not to feel good if you feel lonely.  It is not to make you feel accepted if you feel rejected. 

2.) Who should you date?  Think about 2 answers:  Someone in love with God, and whose character your parents approve of.  

3.) Dating is a great way to learn how to serve others and to see how others are at serving you.  If you date anyone who is controlling, manipulative, insecure or acts whiney, they aren’t ready to date.

4.) Dating starts in group situations not one on one.

5.) Remember, when you date, you are probably spending time with someone else’s future      spouse - so treat them with honor and respect. 

6.) Since you are not married, don’t act like you are married and don’t date anyone who wants to act like you are married.

7.) Physical touch is simply off limits until you are married.

8.) Dating is a team effort - that means include your parents.

9.) While dating, communicate openly with your parents.

10.) Ask your parents to pray with you and help you set boundaries.

11.) While dating, don’t get too emotionally involved with the other  person’s family.  When or if you need to break up, it makes it much harder because not only do you have to break up with your date, you have to break up with the ‘family’ too.

12.) The biggest red flag or green light to someone who is right to date, ask yourself: When I am with them, do they build me up, encourage me or do they always seem to want something from me to be happy?

13.) This might surprise you.  When dating, don’t pray together.  This creates a spiritual bond that should be reserved for marriage. 

In our culture today these, for a lack of a better term, ‘13 Tips to Dating’ are strange aren’t they?  Why are God’s standards of holiness so different than our cultures?  I think the better question is, why are our culture’s standards so different that God standards in dating and marriage?  Here is the answer… 1 Corinthians 6:17-20   Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever - the kind of sex that can never "become one."  There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another.  Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you.  God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

Did you see the answer in those verses?  Our culture wants to tell you that dating, sex, marriage, living together and same sex relationships are something you should pursue and enjoy with no standards.  Here’s the problem, if you listen to people who are living like this or who have lived like this, you will hear stories of guilt, shame, addiction, comparison and deep wounds in the soul.  These individuals will tell you, “I wish I could go back…” or “I wish I would have listened…” or “I don’t like me, I can’t control my urges…” 

So God’s holy standards, do they really sound ‘Old School’ and irrelevant?  Our culture will tell you that!  You will be the odd one.  You will be laughed at.  Actually, God’s holiness is more relevant today than ever before.  Live by His standards and they will protect you from the deep wounds of the soul.  I have never met someone who stayed pure until marriage say, “I deeply regret not having several sexual relationships with other people.”

Back to preparing to date.  It is fun.  It is enjoyable.  It is good.  It can bring joy to your soul.  It’s called romance!  AND, it requires mature people who are in love with God. 

Ken Landis  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it