Last week, we started a new series called Case Closed, and we wanted to introduce this courtroom imagery and show you that we often live our lives like we are on trial. We wake up every day dragging ourselves back into court, and for the most part, we may not even realize we are doing it… and the scariest part is, we can spend our whole lives working hard to build our case and prove we are good enough, successful enough, valuable enough, or spiritual enough. We look at what other people think about us. We look at what we think about ourselves. We look at our accomplishments and our failures. And we're constantly looking for some kind of verdict that says: "We're okay." "We're enough." "We matter." We spend our lives gathering evidence and trying to prove ourselves. And last week, we wanted you to see the big picture: Jesus didn't come to help us win the trial; Jesus came to get us out of the courtroom altogether. And the big question that I hope you challenged yourself with from that talk was this.  What do you think God thinks about you?  I hope you took time last week to reflect on that question and see if you are dragging yourself into court each day.  I want you to know that throughout this series, and especially in our Wednesday night in class, we are using two big resources.  And I would encourage you to read them, and I just wanted you to see them as we get rolling in the series today.  1 Corinthians 3 and 4. And the book “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness” by Tim Keller.

So last week was introducing the concept of the courtroom to you; it was an overview, so we couldn’t get too deep into it, but I told you that over these next three weeks we will really start to go deeper, looking at two big courtrooms over the next two weeks: the Court of Public Opinion and the Court of Self-Judgement…that is going to be a big deal, but before we can work through those courtrooms, we need to answer a very important question.  And that is what we will be up to today.  So, this is where we must start. Why do we struggle to feel like we are enough?  What is that?  Why do we hear how loved we are by God, yet still drag ourselves back into court each day, even though we know that through Jesus, we don’t have to?  Well, this becomes a really important Sunday, because if we're going to get out of the courtroom, we have to understand why we keep going back to it!  And there's a reason for it, and even a name for it: it’s called the EGO.  And today we will review The Case of the Restless Ego…but before we do, let’s talk.  When you think about the ego, what comes to mind?  Probably someone who is cocky or way too confident in themselves, right?  We see them and would say, ugh, they have an ego problem, or they are on an ego trip.  At the gym, we see grown adults do something called “ego lifting,” where you lift way heavier weights than you should to impress others, or you finish a machine and move the pin to the bottom of the weights so the next person thinks you lifted more than you did.  But what if it isn’t just the cocky person, but also the person who struggles with how they see themselves, how others see them, or how God may see them?  This past weekend was Farmers Fair, so let’s use that and look at a few people from Farmers Fair and try to figure out who has the ego problem.

First person – They look forward to Farmers Fair every year, and they can’t wait to walk through the crowd, and they do it with swagger.  They know everyone is looking at them and excited to see them; they walk with a bounce, like a Bee Gees song is playing in their heads.  Cocky, confident, and very sure of themselves.  I think the new term for this person is “Main Character Syndrome,” where they think they are the star of the movie and everyone else is just in the background!  They leave feeling great, knowing that everyone was thinking of them, happy to see them, and impressed by them.

Second person – This person takes hours to get ready; they’ve changed their outfit 5 times, every hair is in place, the clothes must be perfect, everything needs to look a certain way because they know they will see so many people from their community; they head into the crowd feeling that pressure like it’s High School all over again…if they have a spouse and kids, everyone needs to look and act the part, and they are scanning other people’s clothes, fitness levels, families, and working hard to impress.

Third person – They wake up dreading Farmers Fair and would rather not be there at all; they want to hide, assuming everyone hates them, but they head in anyway, and if someone doesn’t see them or hear them when they say hi in the crowd, it confirms how they feel.  Everyone here hates me.  A friend took their picture, and they zoom in on themselves and pick themselves apart: I’m ugly, I’m overweight, please don’t post that…they leave quickly, too stressed out because their social battery died in seconds with all those people and eyes; everyone was looking and focused on them…(not really) They leave replaying what they said or did, thinking about every interaction and what did or didn’t happen…worried they did something wrong, and thinking, "I’m such a mess, I blew that."

Which one has the ego problem?  We'd probably all say the Bee Gees guy strutting through the crowd while the other two are insecure, but the answer is that they all do.  So today we are looking at the restless ego, which is really the answer to that question we can all struggle with.  Why do we struggle to ever feel like we are enough?  It’s the ego that causes us to drag ourselves back into the courtroom each day, and it’s the ego that causes us to work so hard building our case.  And it just never ends, does it?  Have you ever wondered why we can accomplish something we've worked toward for years and still feel like we need to accomplish more? Why can we have people who love us and still feel insecure? Why can one person's criticism stay with us longer than twenty people's encouragement? Why do we keep comparing ourselves to others, even when we know it steals our joy? Why do we keep trying to build our case and prove ourselves? Well, Paul points to the ego as the reason we struggle with this in his letter to the Corinthian church.  So, this isn't a new problem. Paul was dealing with it in the early church.

In 1 Corinthians 3 and 4, Paul is addressing division in the church, much of it centered on their leaders.  We touched on this last week: some people like Paul, others like Apollos or Peter, and they are all good leaders who helped them, but the Corinthians have started turning those leaders into sources of identity and status, and cliques are forming. They're saying, "I follow this leader…I know the right people. I'm on the right team." And Paul is saying, “Hey, what are you doing? Why are you turning God's gifts into reasons to boast about yourselves? Why are you treating God's servants as though they exist to make you look important? Then Paul gives them a different way to look at things.

1 Corinthians 3:6 I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.7 It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. NLT

Paul wants them to understand that the story isn't about which leader is the most impressive. The story is about what God is doing. The leader isn’t important; God is. Then, near the end of chapter 3, Paul says something that we really need to see.

1 Corinthians 3:21 So then, no more boasting about human leaders! All things are yours, 22 whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, 23 and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God. NIV

Do you see what Paul is doing? He's changing the whole way they see themselves. He's saying, "You don't have to build your identity around which leader you follow. You don't have to establish your importance by comparing yourself with somebody else. You don't have to boast about what you have or who you know." Why? Because you all belong to Christ! All things are yours…this is so big.  But how does that get us into a conversation about the human ego?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  Paul says, "Let’s have no more boasting,” and all through this section of Scripture he keeps coming back to pride and boasting…but it’s the word choice that we do need to see here.  Paul doesn’t use the typical word in Scripture for pride, hubris; instead, he uses a different word. ‘Physioō’.  Now, I don't study Greek, but it’s hard to dig into this Scripture without pointing this out; it’s intentional and important to what He is helping us with.  Paul is the only one who uses this word to describe pride in Scripture, and he only uses it in this book and once in Colossians 2. What does it mean?

‘Physioō’ – overinflated, swollen, and ready to burst, extended beyond its proper size.

Paul wants us to see what the ego is and how we struggle with it. The ego is swollen, overinflated, and ready to burst; translation: when we are ranking, comparing, and competing, working to prove, hide, and defend, building our case to win a verdict that Christ already has won for us, we have an ego problem, and it’s our ego that is always trying to establish our worth. It wants to know where we rank, what people think, what we've accomplished, and whether we're doing better than the next person. But Paul says, "All things are given to you, they are yours, and you belong to Christ." This means you have nothing to prove; you don’t have to keep building your case because, in Christ, you already belong to Him!  The problem is our swollen ego.  In Tim Keller’s book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, he describes the ego as empty, painful, busy, and fragile.  That is why we keep dragging ourselves back into court, so let’s take up this case against the ego and present the evidence here today.

EXHIBIT A: THE EGO IS EMPTY. The thing about our ego is that it constantly needs something to fill it.

“It is the normal state of the human heart to try to build its identity around something besides God.” Soren Kierkegaard

We have this pull in us, a deep desire for fulfillment that God placed in us to draw us to Him…the problem is that we will never fill it with things of this world.  Think about how this works in our lives. You accomplish something you've been working toward, and you feel good for a little while, but eventually, you need something else. Because the ego keeps saying, "More." More approval. More success. More attention. More evidence that I'm doing okay. That's why somebody can be incredibly successful and still feel like a failure. Somebody can have people all around them who love them and still feel insecure. Somebody can accomplish more than they ever dreamed and still wonder, "Is that all?" Because the ego keeps asking the question it was never designed to answer. "Do I matter?" "Am I enough?" And we keep looking for answers in our accomplishments, relationships, reputation, and success. But those things make terrible foundations for our identity; the ego is empty and never satisfied…

Now, think about the Corinthians. They were using their relationships with Christian leaders to establish their own importance.  Some are with Paul, others with Apollos or Peter, and Paul reminds them that these leaders are gifts from God. They aren't the source of their identity. Paul planted, Apollos watered, but it’s God who makes things grow. In other words, stop looking at these gifts and acting as though they make you important. Look at the God who gave them to you; that is what matters!

In 1 Corinthians 4:6 Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “Do not go beyond what is written.” Then you will not be puffed up in being a follower of one of us over against the other. 7 For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? NIV

Notice that he says puffed up there in verse 6?  Then look at the question in verse 7 because it is so important.  What do you have that you did not receive?  What do you have that God didn’t give you? Your abilities, skills, opportunities, intelligence? Your personality, spiritual gifts, the opportunities to serve? The people who have helped you along the way?  Your wealth?  How much of what we have can we honestly take credit for? Paul's reminding us that everything comes from God! If what we have is a gift, why do we boast and act as if we did it ourselves? Why do we use our gifts to prove our importance or value instead of serving? The ego says, "Look what I've done. Look what I've become." The Gospel says, "Look what God has given. Look what God has done." That changes things. If your identity depends on what you accomplish, on being impressive, or on being better than somebody else, you must keep accomplishing, keep being impressive, and keep competing to be better than everyone else, and it never ends. But if your identity is found in belonging to Christ, you don't have to spend your life trying to fill an emptiness that your accomplishments can never fill. That's a game changer…do you see it?

EXHIBIT B: THE EGO IS PAINFUL – If you think about your body, you don't think about most of your body parts unless they hurt.  And the older you get, well, the more body parts you are probably thinking about!  You don't wake up every morning thinking about your elbow, your left ear, or your big toe.  You don't notice them until they hurt. And when they hurt, you can't think about anything else. Pain makes you notice something you would normally ignore, and the ego works the same way. You don't really notice it until it hurts. Someone says something critical about you, and even if twenty people encourage you, you keep thinking about that one negative comment. Someone doesn't recognize you, or someone questions your ability, and suddenly something inside you hurts. Now, sometimes criticism is unfair, but our reaction reveals something about us. Sometimes we're not really upset about what happened; we’re upset about what it says about us. Whether it’s being recognized, valued, or respected, it’s our egos that take a hit; we are really asking: "What does this say about my worth?" And just like that, we are back in the courtroom. We're no longer dealing with a disagreement or a difficult conversation. We're suddenly defending ourselves because somebody has just presented evidence against us. And Paul really helped us with that in our foundational scripture for the series, which you will hear a lot this fall.

1 Corinthians 4:3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. NIV

Remember, Paul cares about people. He cares about the church. He cares about his faithfulness to the work God has given him. But he refuses to make their judgment, or even his own, the final verdict on his life. Think about the freedom in that!  It lets you listen when someone corrects you without letting their criticism destroy you. You can acknowledge a mistake without deciding that you are a mistake. You can be misunderstood without spending the next three days trying to convince everybody that you're right. You can take responsibility for something you've done wrong without turning that failure into your entire identity. You don’t have to hide or defend; you can relax.  Why? Because a person's opinion no longer defines you; God does. That's the freedom Paul says a Christ follower should be walking in. The ego gets wounded and immediately wants to defend itself. The Gospel allows us to be honest, humble, and teachable because we don't have to protect, hide, or defend anything!

EXHIBIT C: THE EGO IS BUSY.  The ego is constantly comparing. This is the problem with the Corinthians. They divided themselves into groups and competed.  They were using who they knew to establish their own importance.  We see this all the time today, don’t we?  It’s like name-dropping today.  I know so-and-so… Paul challenges them because they have lost sight of what matters, and this is still an issue today.  We just use different things to figure out who matters more. We compare houses, careers, marriages, children, families, ministries, bodies, bank accounts, what we drive, our education, talents and skills, and on, I could go!  And social media has made this incredibly easy. We can look at somebody else's life for ten seconds and start questioning our own. "Why don't I have that?" "Why doesn't my family look like that?" "Why isn't my marriage like that?" "Why don't I look like that?" We see what they're doing well, but we know everything we're struggling with. And we wonder why we feel like we're losing. If your identity is based on where you rank, you'll never rest. You're constantly checking the scoreboard. "How am I doing? Am I winning or losing?" "Am I as good or as important as they are?" And even if you reach the top, you have to keep working to stay there. The ego is busy because it convinces us that we establish our worth by measuring ourselves against others.

“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking, there would be nothing to be proud about.” CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

This is why Paul asked them that massive question that exposes the problem and gives the solution.

1 Corinthians 4:7 "What do you have that you did not receive?"

In other words, everything we have is a gift from God, and when you see it that way, you stop competing and comparing; you stop ranking and wondering who is more important; it’s all a reason to be grateful and appreciate what God gives us!  When we realize everything we have is a gift from God, we don't keep it to ourselves; we share it, using our gifts to help others, and celebrate others for the gifts they have that are different from ours.  That's a different way of living, isn’t it?  Think about how much energy we waste comparing our lives to other people's. Imagine what would happen if we used that energy to love the people God has placed in front of us. What if we stopped looking around long enough to be grateful for what God has given us? What if somebody else's success didn't have to feel like our failure and we could celebrate what God is doing in them without wondering what it says about us? That’s what happens when we realize it’s all a gift from God.

EXHIBIT D: THE EGO IS FRAGILE.  The ego can be built up by one compliment and knocked down by one criticism. It’s a roller coaster ride because it is so fragile. Our view of ourselves changes so quickly because we let other people, and even our own feelings and views, determine the verdict. We get a positive verdict, and we feel good for a while. Then somebody disagrees with us, and we need another verdict. We are constantly trying to stabilize an identity that depends on unstable things.  Remember what Paul said in our big foundational Scripture…

 1 Corinthians 4:4 "It is the Lord who judges me."

That's important. Paul doesn't say, "I know I'm good because I feel good about myself or because someone else approves of me.”  He's saying that is God’s job in our lives, which means we can admit we're wrong or make mistakes without being destroyed, and we can be honest and open about all the good and bad of our lives; we can accept our strengths without becoming prideful; we stop the wild roller coaster of incredible highs and devastating lows because we are anchored in God’s love. Nothing to hide, nothing to protect, nothing to project, just resting in God’s love…that is different, isn’t it? 

Okay, so let's review this case against the ego: the evidence against the ego is overwhelming here.  The ego is empty. It keeps demanding more approval, more achievement, and more recognition. The ego is painful. It gets wounded when our importance, reputation, or sense of worth feels threatened. The ego is busy. It constantly competes and compares our lives to others'. And the ego is fragile. It rises and falls with others' opinions, and even our own. Put all four together, and what do you get? A restless life. Always searching. Always competing and comparing, defending, hiding, and protecting. Always evaluating and always asking, "Am I enough?" And you know, as we review the case and see all the evidence presented, we may all have an ego problem. 

So, what is interesting is what we do with it.  Because, in our world today, culture teaches us that the answer to this ego problem is to work on yourself and build up your self-esteem.  Think better about yourself. Tell yourself you're good enough, smart enough, and that you need to believe in yourself and build yourself up. And I mean, for those of us who beat ourselves up all the time, that isn’t bad advice, but Paul takes us somewhere deeper. He challenges us to stop making ourselves the center of the story altogether. Because the problem isn't just that we sometimes think too much or too little of ourselves. The problem is that we're just always thinking about ourselves. Am I good enough? Am I successful enough? Do they like me? Am I doing better than they are? What does this failure or accomplishment say about me? And if you think about it, Paul keeps saying, "Hey, it's just not about you; it is all about God."  It’s all His. What in your life isn’t given to you by God?  You don't have to compete with everyone around you. You don't have to let every person you meet determine your worth. And you don't have to make your own opinion the final word on your life. You belong to Christ. That is the truth Paul wants the Corinthians, and all of us, to learn to rest in.

Do you remember the question we started with today? Why do we never seem to feel like we are enough?  Well, hopefully, as we explored the Case of the Restless Ego, you now understand the real issue.  So, let’s just lean into this as we close.  Where are you working hard to prove your worth? Maybe it's your career. Maybe it's your marriage or your children. Maybe it's with friends and coworkers.  Maybe it’s your appearance or your bank account. Maybe it's being liked, or being intelligent, or being right, or just being better than somebody else. I don’t know what it may be for you, but slow down and think about that today.  And then I want you to follow that question up with this one… What would need to happen for you to feel finally feel like you’re enough? Whose approval am I chasing? What criticism still has power over me? What comparison keeps stealing my joy? What accomplishment am I hoping will finally make me feel secure? What is it?  And here is the key: once you know what that thing is, it’s time to give that thing to God. Tell Him where you're struggling.  You don't have to pretend you have no weaknesses or that you are better or worse than you are; that is the beauty of the Gospel and God’s amazing grace and love for you. 

Listen, the ego is always pleading its case, but the Gospel takes us out of the courtroom altogether.  You don't have to spend your life proving yourself. You don't have to spend your life feeding the restless ego. You don't have to keep asking for another verdict because you belong to Jesus. When Jesus is enough, you don't have to be. And when you truly believe that the restless ego can finally rest.

If you would like to dive deeper into this conversation with us, come out this Wednesday night at 6 pm, and next week we will step into one of the two big courtrooms of our lives: the Court of Public Opinion. But think this through this week: Where am I looking to prove my worth, and what would change if I really believed I belong to Christ and that everything is a gift from God?