This series is a big deal.   Why?  Because we are dealing with the things that can significantly damage how we live our lives.  If you are wrestling with these things, it's like adding one hundred fifty pounds to your daily life, and it's exhausting.  Topics like living with regret and guilt.  Being stuck in the world of people pleasing.  Being paralyzed with feelings of self-doubt.  Living with a sense of entitlement that steals our gratitude.   Constantly feeling unlovable.  If you have lived life for more than a day, you know how hard these things are to overcome.

I want you to think about this.  Because of what Jesus did on the cross and resurrection, how do those things come into our lives?  Why do we struggle with them?  The answer is you are in a spiritual war.  I want to read it for you.

Ephesians 6:12-13 This is no weekend war that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. MSG

The Christian life isn’t a playground; it’s a battlefield for your mind.  What is the battle about?  It’s about what God did for you through Jesus.  I want to read it for you.

2 Corinthians 5:21, 1 Corinthians 6:11b For God took the sinless Christ and poured into him our sins. Then, in exchange, he poured God’s goodness [righteousness] into us! …You were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. NLT

When I read those verses, I always want to slow down and repeat them.  Why?  We need to allow those verses to sink deep into our souls.  I believe that what these verses say is far beyond our ability to understand fully.  The God of the universe knows that we all come up short.  And because we come up short, our penalty is death.  But God doesn’t want that to happen.  So, God sends Jesus into this world to die on a cross to pay our penalty.  And in that moment, God pours our sin into Jesus and pours His righteousness into us.   We are made holy, righteous, and pure.   If we were to put all that into one word, we would call it grace.  God’s grace has the power to radically change our lives forever.

I want you to think this through.   If what God did for us on the cross is real, it should radically change everything, right?  How many Christians do you know who walk through life with courage, integrity, and passion?  You may know a few.  But how many are there?  How many Christians do you know who are actively reading the Bible and praying every day, and it’s changing them?  Their hearts are softer, they are more centered, and they are healing past wounds.  How many Christian marriages are getting softer, closer, or more intimate?  The wives are bringing out the best in their husbands, and the husbands are bringing out the best in their wives.  How many local churches are experiencing God’s presence because the people who attend pray, worship, and invite God to be with them?  I didn’t ask how big or small the church is; I asked about God’s presence.  I ask these questions because if what God did for us on the cross is real, it should radically change everything – right?  It should change us.  It should change our marriages and homes.  It should change our churches.  And if we aren’t experiencing changes from the power of God’s grace, we should ask why.   

Why can the Christian life be a struggle?  Not only do we have choices to make but scripture tells us, and our real-life experience tells us, we are in a spiritual war.  How does our enemy try to steal, kill, and destroy what God did through Jesus?   The same way he took out Adam and Eve, through lies.  He knows he can’t take away God’s grace from you.  He knows he can’t take away God’s righteousness, holiness, and purity from you.   He knows he can’t change the fact that you are a child of God.  So, what does he do?  He comes to lie to you.  And if he can get you to believe a lie, he can steal what Jesus died to give you.  What happens next?  A hard life just became harder.  Instead of a radical life change, we end up going through the motions.   Our marriages don’t get softer, closer, or more intimate; they become stale.  Our churches don’t focus on experiencing God’s presence; they become places that focus on making things more exciting. 

We must see and understand the power of God’s grace.  We must see that we are in a battle.  We must see what is at risk.  We must understand the lies that are coming.  

Have you ever had the following thoughts, and have they been on repeat?

“I’m not good enough.”  “I can’t change anything.”  “I’m not smart enough to [fill in the blank].”  “I could never [fill in the blank].”  “I’ll probably fail at [fill in the blank].”  “Nothing looks the way I want it to; life is a failure.” 

Have these toxic thoughts stolen your courage to live life?   Have they made you assume the absolute worst-case scenario in life?  Did they make you feel hopeless?  Did they lead you to play it safe or want to check out of life?  Did they make you feel and stay in self-pity?  

Those thoughts are from self-doubt.  And it’s a lie that wants to steal your courage to live life.   

Why is self-doubt so powerful?  Because it takes real negative experiences you have had, mixes them with a lie, and it seems like the truth.  And it’s not.  Here are four examples.

If you have experienced failure or rejection, you can take that real experience and conclude, “See, that’s proof, that really happened, so it will happen again.”  It leaves you feeling inadequate, insecure, and steals your courage.  It may lead you to play it safe in life.

In your childhood, if you had trauma that you didn’t deal with, you can take that real experience and conclude, “See, that’s proof, that really happened, I couldn’t do anything about it, God didn’t do anything about it.  I can’t do anything in my life today, what’s the point in praying?”  It leaves you feeling inadequate, insecure, and steals your courage.  It may lead you to check out of life.

If your parents were on the extremes of overly critical or unsupportive, you can take that real experience and conclude, “See, that’s proof, that really happened, I am not enough.”   It can lead you to catastrophizing life.   That’s when you take most situations and distort them into the worst-case scenario.  It leaves you feeling inadequate, insecure, and steals your courage.   

If you are comparing yourself to others often, especially through social media, you can conclude that others have it better than you.  You can take the real experience of being on social media, even if it’s not true, and conclude, “See, that’s proof, it is really happening, I am failing, others have it better than me.”  It leaves you feeling inadequate, insecure, and steals your courage.  It may lead you to be depressed.

Do you see why self-doubt is so damaging?  It takes real negative experiences you have had, mixes them with a lie, and it seems like the truth.  And it’s not.  You may have experienced failure or rejection, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you are not enough.  You may have experienced a trauma as a child, which is true and awful, but it doesn’t mean you can’t change anything in your life or that God doesn’t care.  You may have had the two parenting extremes, critical or unsupportive parents; that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t enough.   And it doesn’t mean everything is going to be the worst-case scenario.  You may be seeing what others are posting on social media, that’s true, the images are there for you to see, but that doesn’t mean it's reality.  That doesn’t mean they are happy or fulfilled in their lives.  

What does scripture say?

2 Timothy 1:7 The Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control. GNT 

The Holy Spirit doesn’t make us timid; the Holy Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.  However, if your enemy can plant the lie of self-doubt, it will steal everything Jesus died to give you.  Do you see it?  Self-doubt isn’t from God; it’s from your enemy.  It steals your courage to engage life.  God gives us power, love, and self-control. 

Are you single?  Your enemy doesn’t want you walking in the power of God’s grace, with courage and passion.   He plants self-doubt.  No, look at the negative things in your past, like failure or rejection.  Look at what could go wrong.  You're not good enough.  And now you walk with a spiritual limp.

Are you married?  Your enemy doesn’t want you walking in the power of God’s grace, with courage and passion.   He plants self-doubt.  No, look at how your spouse has failed you.  Why even bother?  No matter what you do, it’s not good enough anyway, so check out, do the least possible.  And now you walk with a spiritual limp.

Are you a parent?  Your enemy doesn’t want you walking in the power of God’s grace, with courage and passion.   He plants self-doubt.  No, look how much of a mess parenting is.  You can’t get it right no matter what you do.   It’s probably because of you.   You’ll probably make the wrong decision.   You're not good enough.  And now you walk with a spiritual limp.

Are you a Christian?  Your enemy doesn’t want you walking in the power of God’s grace, with courage and passion.  He plants self-doubt.  No, you won’t make a difference.  Who are you to help love and serve others?  That’s for others to do.  You're not good enough.  God couldn’t work through you.  You should stay in your comfort zone.  And now you walk with a spiritual limp.

Let’s go a little deeper.   20-question Assessment to open our eyes to self-doubt [Source: Bad Thoughts by Judah Smith and Dr. Less Parrott].   Scale from 0 to 7, 0 being never, 7 being often.  Are the following statements true about you?

I feel helpless.

I feel like little I do matters or makes a difference.

I feel like I’m not good enough.

I’m cautious.

I struggle to find passion in my life.

I fear the worst about things.

I feel stuck in my life.

I wish I had more confidence.

I fear what others think of me.

I think others have less social anxiety than me.

I wonder if people really like me.

I wonder about my competence.

I fear my life’s dream may not be realized.

I struggle to stand up for myself.

If I fail at something, I don’t want to try again.

I worry and second-guess myself.

I have a fear of failure.

I think I’m not as smart or capable as others.                                                    

I feel like a social wallflower when I get out.

I worry that I won’t succeed.

If you found that you gave yourself a lot of 4s, 5s, or higher, self-doubt is a part of your thinking.  Your enemy may have stolen everything that Jesus died to give to you.  Remember what the Holy Spirit gives us?  Power, love, and self-control.  Your enemy is in the process of stealing that from you.  And chances are you feel like you are limping through life more than you are living with courage, passion, and clarity.  And when you see it, it should make you angry.  I want you to see the damage self-doubt does.  And I want you to get angry.  Angry enough that you say never again.  It’s time to remove self-doubt.

First, if you are dealing with self-doubt, so are others.  

So, treat people like they are struggling with self-doubt.  Listen to what Jesus taught.

Matthew 7:12 Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. MSG

If you deal with thoughts that you aren’t good enough, you are a failure, or have a lack of courage, how do you want people to treat you?  You probably want people to be kind and compassionate, right?  Please understand that every person you see is probably dealing with what you are dealing with.  And the greatest thing you can do for them is to be kind and compassionate.    

How do you see your spouse?  As someone who has missed the mark or someone who is in a spiritual battle of self-doubt, like you?  How do you view your kids, others at school or work, and others at church?

Second, courage isn’t found in us; it’s found in God.

2 Timothy 1:7 The Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control. GNT 

What enables us to overcome self-doubt isn’t found in us.  We can’t do it on our own.  We are in a spiritual battle, so we must treat life like we are in a spiritual battle.   We surrender our lives to God and ask Him to fill us with the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. NIV

Putting on the full armor of God demands that we be with God in a relationship of reading scripture and praying our prayers.  Walking through life without being in a relationship with God is like walking into a burning building with no protection.  You will lose the spiritual battle.  

Third, name self-doubt.  

In the book ‘Bad Thoughts’, the Christian authors give a very practical way to help defeat your self-talk that leads to self-doubt.  They suggested that the next time you experience thoughts that say ‘You aren’t good enough’, name your inner critic.  Name it whatever you want, but name it.  Example, call it ‘My bully’.  The next time you think, ‘I’m not good enough,’ just say, ‘My bully’ is telling me that I’m not good enough.’  Ask yourself three questions.  First, is what My bully is saying true?  Second, Am I overreacting to what My bully is saying?  Third, is what My bully saying helpful?

How can this be helpful?

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. NIV

We take captive every thought, and we demolish it if it isn’t true.

Three things. First, others are dealing with self-doubt.  Second, courage isn’t found in us; it’s found in God.  Third, name your inner critic and ask questions.