Welcome back to our fall conversation, Case Closed, where we have been talking about courtroom imagery in our lives, which is something we can all relate to in one way or another.  We can wake up each day and, without even realizing it, drag ourselves back into court, trying to build our case and prove ourselves to God, to other people, and even to ourselves.  And really, this series leads us to the truth found in the Gospel message.  That because of Jesus, we don’t have anything to prove; there’s no case to build; the verdict is in, the case is closed.  But for so many Christians, we know this in our minds but still struggle to get out of the courtroom, and that’s the goal of this series: to get out and stay out of the courtroom altogether.  To me, this series has two parts.  The first half of this series ends today, and we have done some good work here, looking at our battles to live in the kind of freedom someone who follows Jesus should live in, a freedom Paul shows us in our foundational Scripture for the series.

1 Corinthians 4:3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. NIV

Paul says that because of Jesus, we can live this kind of life, and I mean, just think that through: how awesome would it be to experience that kind of freedom?  And that is what we have set out to do. Then, starting next week, we'll begin the second half of this conversation, where we will lean into the Gospel and discover what a life centered on God’s love and grace can truly look like, and I can’t wait!

So far, we have introduced the courtroom concept and reviewed the case of the restless ego. We laid out the evidence and learned that the ego is why we keep dragging ourselves back into court each day; the empty, painful, busy, fragile ego keeps asking, Am I enough? Telling us we need to keep proving our case!  That was an important conversation to have before we could step into the two big courtrooms of our lives; if we are going to learn how to avoid these courtrooms, we need to understand why we keep dragging ourselves back to them!  Then last week, Ken took us into the Court of Public Opinion.  This is a massive challenge for us because God designed us to be in relationship with people, and at some level, we all want to be liked!  Paul told us through Jesus we are free from all this people-pleasing stuff; he doesn’t care what others think of him, and neither should we!  Ken told us the problem with trying to earn our value and self-worth from people is that people, not God, end up controlling us.  I hope you took the time to really think through the lists he gave us last week; he showed us 6 ways people control us and 22 indicators that tell us if we are struggling with this.  That can be so helpful! When we do the people-pleasing thing, our emotions go all over the place, and it is exhausting because, no matter how hard we try, how nice we are, or how hard we work to build our case, not everyone will like us. As I listened to Ken’s talk, I kept thinking about our painful, fragile ego trying to earn people’s approval; it is so easy to do, and this quote kept coming to my mind…

“If everyone likes you, then you probably don’t.”  Sasha Tozzi

It’s so true, and the irony is that if you like you, everyone else will probably think you're weird because you’re no longer fitting in with the crowd.  Now today, we head to the second big courtroom of our lives: the Court of Self-Judgment.  I’m thankful I’m talking to you about this one because it is the one I struggle with the most.  I can speak with great confidence about this courtroom because I’ve spent way too much time there.  Many of you might say the same about the Court of Public Opinion, but I’m doing okay with that one.  And to say this as nicely as I can: as a leader and a Pastor representing Jesus in this world, it doesn’t take long for that people-pleaser to get beaten out of you!  You just can’t please everybody, and honestly, in ministry and leadership, it often feels like you can’t please anybody… I mean, I can offend people just by where I park my car or what I drive, by exercising, by going on vacation, by being at the grocery store at the wrong time, or by cheering for my child at a sporting event.  I can disappoint people by asking them to prioritize God, spend time with Him, serve, or read scripture.  I even learned during the COVID pandemic that I have the amazing talent of being able to offend both sides of the political spectrum at the same time, by trying to lead in a loving, godly way through my first global pandemic, so if you are going to Pastor for a couple of decades, eventually the Court of Public Opinion just gets beat out of you.  But what we are jumping into today, this courtroom of self-judgment, …this is my challenge.  We could go so many places today, but I want to start by showing a few reasons this courtroom can be so hard to deal with. 

First, you can’t get away from yourself.  This courtroom comes with you everywhere you go!  We can’t run from this one because wherever we go, we are still going to be there!

Second, we struggle to grasp and accept God’s love.  I’m not saying you don’t know what the gospel is, but we can know the truth about God’s love and still struggle with how we see ourselves and how God sees us.  We can know what grace is and still be really hard on ourselves.  We can know God loves us, and that Jesus came to take away all our sins, and still believe that God is disappointed in who we are, because we may be disappointed in who we are…but it doesn’t work that way.  Maybe that is why Paul said this to his buddy Timothy…

1 Timothy 1:15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. NIV

We often focus on Paul talking about being the worst of all sinners there, but that first part of the verse is huge, because with news this good and this amazing, it is hard to believe and fully accept! 

Third, we won’t always feel good about ourselves.  I wanted to make sure we talked about this because we can come to church and hear about joy and think we should always be happy…I mean, joy is one of the Fruit of the Spirit, so it makes sense, right?  But here’s the problem: I’m not always happy. How about you?  We can assume that if we really believed the Gospel, we would always feel good about ourselves. We would always feel secure and confident. We would never struggle with stress, life, or sin ever again…but that's not how life works. Sometimes we know the truth and still struggle with our feelings. Sometimes we believe God loves us, but we don't feel all that lovable. We know we're forgiven and redeemed, but we still feel bad about the mistakes we have made. And when that happens, we can start judging ourselves for struggling!  I’m great at that, but I wonder if you can relate! We mess up, judge ourselves for it, then feel bad, and judge ourselves for feeling bad!  Think about that: as it happens, I’m not just feeling bad, but I’m also feeling bad about feeling bad!  We think, "I should be beyond this by now. I know better. Why am I still struggling with this?" And we're back in the courtroom. We're judging ourselves for not being as free as we think we should be. But the Gospel doesn't tell us to manufacture the right feelings before we can rest in God's grace. It invites us to be real and keep bringing ourselves back to the truth of who God is and what He has done for us in Jesus.  

Galatians 5:16-18 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are contrary to each other, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence? MSG

God in us is very different from our own selfish desires, and Paul says these two things (the flesh and the spirit) compete in us, so we shouldn't live according to how we feel on any given day.  That is huge, and it's the opposite of what our culture tells us to do.  Listen, our feelings will go up and down; sometimes it’s easy to feel loved by God, and sometimes we have to keep reminding ourselves of the truth of God’s great love for us when our feelings tell us the opposite.  Do you see what I’m saying here?  God's grace isn't any less true when we feel bad or struggle.  That matters because we can use our emotions to gauge how we are doing, and that isn’t a good idea.  Our emotions will go up and down, but God’s love and grace do not; because of Jesus, it’s always there.

When we struggle or feel disappointed in ourselves, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking the answer is to work harder at feeling better about ourselves. We tell ourselves to be more confident. To stop being so critical. To think more positively. But Paul invites us into so much more; he says we need to stop looking inward for an answer that can only be found in God's grace. Because the Gospel doesn't say, "You should always feel good about yourself or never struggle, or that you should be able to figure it all out." It tells us God knows us completely, that Jesus came for us sinners while we were still a mess, and that through Him we are completely forgiven and brought into a relationship with God.  This means we can relax and be honest about ourselves, nothing to hide, defend, project, or protect.  Okay, there is one more thing that makes this courtroom so challenging, and we have to talk about it... 

Fourth, you are opposed; you have an enemy. Who's doing his best to keep you from experiencing God’s love, grace, and victory in your life. We need to understand that because of Jesus, the enemy has no power over you unless you agree to give it to him, but this self-judgment is one of the most challenging ways he attacks us, and I will tell you why.  He will keep pointing out things about ourselves that we struggle with that are factually true, and I think we need to talk about that! This is important to hear even if it is a little uncomfortable.  You are an imperfect sinner, and you made those mistakes he points out… those things happened.  And our enemy loves pointing those things out and reminding us of them.  We know Scripture says he is a liar, a deceiver, and an accuser, but what makes this so tough is that he’s not necessarily lying; he’s just not giving us the whole truth. He’s pointing out all the garbage in our lives, and he’s not wrong.  You did screw up; you are a sinner; that is true. But he leaves out the best part! You’ve been redeemed, and he doesn’t want you to know, remember, or accept that.  After you have repented and God has forgiven you of your sin, the enemy will keep reminding you of your sin over and over again, hoping you forget the part where Jesus handled it all for you.  Satan’s goal is to condemn you, because he knows that condemnation leads to self-hatred and self-destructive behavior, and we get stuck in the endless cycles of pain, regret, and self-judgment, but Jesus handles that for us.  

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus NIV

There is no condemnation in Christ, but we sure can keep condemning ourselves, can’t we?  We make a mistake, and we can't let it go. We say something we regret, handle a relationship poorly, or screw up an opportunity or fall back into old habits and patterns, and instead of dealing honestly with what happened, we turn it into a verdict about ourselves. "I'm an awful person." "What's wrong with me?" There's a big difference between saying, "I handled that situation poorly," and saying, "I'm a failure." One is saying, " Oops, I messed up and need to do better”, while the other turns that failure into who we believe we are.  Do you see it?  It's tricky because these accusations have a lot of truth behind them.  He can name real sins and issues and point out how we’re undeserving of the life God offers us, and he isn’t wrong, but that is only half the truth; he just wants us to stay there!  Many of us have memorized important Scriptures like “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” and “the wages of sin is death,” but we can’t forget what comes next in those incredible verses...

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. NIV

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I tell you this a lot: we can struggle because we know ourselves really well; we know the things about us others don’t, and it’s easy to focus only on our faults; and just keep repeating negative, condemning words about ourselves like a broken record, and we end up being sure of our failures, but unsure that God’s grace is enough to cover them!  And God’s grace is enough to cover them…yes, even yours. 

“The lies are impeccably factual. They contain no errors. There are no distortions or falsified data. But they’re lies all the same, because they claim to tell us who we are and omit everything about our origin in God and our destiny in God.” Eugene Peterson

Satan’s accusations may contain truth, but he conveniently leaves out the reality of our redemption through Jesus!  There is nothing to prove here, no case to build, because Jesus won.  If that is true, then we have no need for this courtroom of self-judgment…right? As I wrote this, I kept thinking about a series of questions Paul asks in Romans 8…

Romans 8:33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.  NLT

Who dares accuse us?  Who then will condemn us?  No one, for Jesus died and was raised to life for us and now intercedes for us… this is beautiful, and as Christians, this is everything, but if we are honest, sometimes the real answer to who dares accuse or condemn us is ourselves… we do.

Now it’s important to say this.  We are talking about condemning ourselves here, and there is a difference between conviction and condemnation.  Sometimes we will be convicted over our sin, and we need to acknowledge that. When we've sinned, we confess it to God, make things right, and, most importantly, change our behavior. Grace isn't an excuse to ignore sin. But we don't have to keep sentencing ourselves because of it. And I think that is really the difference between conviction and condemnation… Conviction leads us toward God and change. Condemnation keeps us trapped in the courtroom. One invites us to respond to God. The other keeps dragging us back to our self-focused ways…and into this courtroom of self-judgment.  I wanted to make sure we touched on that; there is a difference!

So, last week Ken told us that we don’t want to be controlled by other people’s expectations or opinions; that is so important.  But what happens when the person you're looking to for your identity is you? What happens when your sense of worth depends on how you feel about yourself?  That is why I wanted to talk about our emotions early in this talk: our feelings and our opinions of ourselves change. One day, we feel like we're doing well. The next day, we feel like we're falling apart. One day, we look back at our lives and feel grateful for what we've accomplished. The next day, we look at somebody else's life and feel like we've accomplished nothing. One day, we feel confident in our abilities. The next day, we can’t seem to do anything right and feel insecure. If our identity depends on how we feel about ourselves, we'll spend our lives riding that emotional roller coaster.

Listen, we can’t confuse how we are doing with who we are.  Think about how often we do this. We have a good day at work, and we feel good about ourselves. We have a bad day, and we question ourselves. We handle a difficult conversation well and feel like we've grown, but then we handle the next one poorly and wonder whether we've learned anything at all. Sometimes our faith feels strong, and we feel encouraged. Then we go through a dry season, and we start questioning everything. We can turn almost anything into a guilty verdict about who we are. And the danger is that we begin confusing how we're doing with who we are. Those are not the same thing. Having a bad day doesn’t make you a bad person. Making mistakes doesn’t mean you are a failure or a disappointment.  The flip side is true, too!  You can have a good day without needing to congratulate yourself as though you've finally established your worth. I am going to tell you something I wish I understood a long time ago.  I write about it often in my prayer journal.  Your performance can tell you that something in your life needs attention, but it should not and cannot tell you who you are.  That’s not your identity. You did something dumb or amazing, but those things are not who you are; they are just things you did. And isn’t that what we are learning in this series?  The restless ego keeps trying to establish our identity and self-worth.  The Court of Public Opinion lets other people deliver the verdict. The Court of Self-Judgment lets us do the same to ourselves. But Paul shows us a better way to live!

1 Corinthians 4:3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. NIV

So how do we get out of this courtroom? How do we stop the cycle of self-judgment (good or bad)? Well, we need to listen carefully to what Paul is saying here.  He isn't saying, "I don't care what you think, and I don't care what I think, because nobody can tell me what to do, or that I don't care about people." He's saying, "You don’t get to say who I am, and even my own thoughts and feelings about me don’t get to say who I am; that’s God’s job.” And Paul is so confident in God’s view of him because he belongs to Christ. He knows that his life is meant to be lived for Christ. He also knows his own feelings or view of himself isn't perfect. So, he has stopped letting his own opinion be the final verdict.

So what does this look like tomorrow morning? It's one thing to talk about this in church and believe it is true, but it's a whole other thing to live it out when you jump back into another busy day full of things to do, interactions with people, and time alone with your thoughts. It's a whole other thing to stay out of the courtroom when you've messed up, when you're discouraged, when you're overwhelmed, stressed out, and disappointed in yourself. So here are three things that can free us from the courtrooms we have talked about over the last two weeks; these work for both people and the self.

First, we need to learn to recognize when we are dragging ourselves back into court.  We need to pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. When you make a mistake, do you immediately turn it into who you are? When somebody succeeds, do you start measuring yourself against them? On a difficult day, do you decide you’re a failure? That's why Paul said we must hold every thought captive…

2 Corinthians 10:5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God (NLT) and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (NIV)

Those proud obstacles that keep us from God sound a lot like the condemnation we talked about today.  We have to be intentional and recognize those moments when we slip back into the courtroom.

Second, we need to stop confusing what we did with who we are!  We need to learn to separate what happened from what we think it says about us. Maybe you handled something poorly. That matters. But it doesn’t mean you're a failure. Maybe somebody criticized you. That may be worth considering. But it doesn’t mean you're worthless. Maybe you feel discouraged. That feeling is real. But it doesn’t mean God has abandoned you. There's real danger in confusing what we did with who we are, and we need to distinguish the thing we did from the verdict you're placing on it. You can say, "I made a mistake," without saying, "I'm a mistake." Or, "I need to grow," without saying, "I'll never change." Or, "I'm struggling today," without saying, "I’m a failure." And if you've sinned, confess it, seek forgiveness, make things right where needed, and take the next step. Life is hard enough without adding extra weight to it!

Third, we must relive the Gospel every day.  We need to return to what is true in Christ.  When you realize that you are back in the courtroom, don't just tell yourself to stop thinking that way. Give your mind somewhere better to go, and there is nowhere better to go than Jesus. Remember that you belong to Christ. Remember that you don't earn God's grace by having a good day. Remember that your failures don’t define you, and neither do your successes; God does.  In this intense, loud, and difficult world we live in today, you will need to relive this truth every day: your feelings and opinion of yourself may change. Other people's opinions may change. But God's grace in Jesus does not.  It is not something you have to earn again tomorrow. You belong to Christ. So stop trying to deliver the final verdict on yourself. Stop dragging yourself back into court. And learn to rest in the beautiful gift of God’s grace; that is the goal.  The goal isn't to spend your life learning to feel better about yourself or prove yourself. The goal is simply to accept God’s grace, the incredible gift of Jesus in your life, and become so focused on God that you're no longer the center of your focus and attention; that is when the real fun can begin.  To end today, let’s go back to those questions Paul asks in Romans 8…

Romans 8:33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. 35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love?... NLT

Listen, I don’t know about you, but when I read these questions from Paul, I often think: who will accuse us, condemn us, or try to separate us from God’s love?  Well, in this difficult world, the answer seems to be: everyone and everything will try…our enemy, other people, and even ourselves and our life circumstances will try…but the point is, over and over again, Paul is saying that because of Jesus, no one can, and that is how we walk in that elusive victorious life we all hear about and wish we had…after that series of questions, Paul once again points to the truth. 

37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. NLT